Friday, September 30, 2011

Reprimanding Loved Ones

Love is a #$%^&%*...

Back in the day, I was watching the movie Old School and heard these words by a waiter, words that would ordinarily be ignored, or worse, be taken in bad taste.
Well, the movie starts with Mitch speaking about how hard it is to find true love. This is further emphasized when he gets back home earlier than expected, only to discover that his girlfriend Heidi is being blatantly unfaithful...

That aside, I have often been surprised, in fact infuriated, by how people who are supposedly close and in love treat each other. That intolerance, the irritating habit of blowing things out of proportion and throwing tantrums as if either of the parties is eagerly waiting for the other to make a small mistake... that is what largely kept me away from relationships in my younger years. In fact, I nowadays keep these pretentious liaisons at bay because of many reasons, this one being a prime reason.

So what makes people behave this way?

It so happens that when people get really close, they somewhat idolize each other. There is the illusion that the significant other is such a good person, you stop seeing their human imperfections and imagine that they cannot go wrong. You see everything by and about them as prefect and therefore invariably right.

With time however, reality checks in and mistakes and defects of character start manifesting themselves. As Stephen King put it,
once the tale of encounter and discovery is told, kisses quickly grow stale and caresses tiresome…
This unfortunately is the time when people continually misunderstand each other, words and deeds are misinterpreted and quarrels become the order of the day.

How to Deal With This

The easiest solution is to simply understand that even those close to us are still human and are therefore not immune to every-day screw-ups in life. They are not perfect, they make mistakes and the reason we are together is so that we can add value in each others life, thereby becoming better persons.

If the love and affection that brings two people together is genuine, these two people need to be accommodating, lenient and immensely understanding. Solutions should be sought using meaningful and mature dialogue.


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